Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Do you ever want to give up?

I'm having that kind of week.
This isn't one of those posts begging for encouragement. I'm just being raw and real.

This past week has been pretty crazy for me. It's out on facebook, so it might as well be out on my blog.
My husband Jason and I are getting a divorce. Actually, it will probably be filed tomorrow, my wedding anniverary, of all days...ironic huh?  While we both have come to a mutual understanding of this and are at peace and cordial, however, it can't help but dredge up ALOT of suppresed emotions even going back to my parents divorce...

In comes Emotional Eating 101.

I didn't go off the deep end or anything, but I constantly found myself wanting to put food in my mouth. It didn't matter if I was hungry...the emotions drove me to want to eat.  Having been on the new lifestyle journey for almost a month now, I knew that this wasnt typical of me and it really made me have to come face to face with the fact that....

"Hi, my name is Morgan, and part of the reason I am as heavy as I am is because I eat my emotions."

Now...I'm not the girl to get the bon bons and sit and cry and watch a sappy movie....its just the little things here and there that ALL ADD UP.

Monday was my day off and I was determined to spend it at  home. I needed to rest. I needed to start sorting through things and packing Jason's stuff up. I did not expect to open a box filled with wedding cards and little pictures my friend stephanies class had drawn for me before my wedding day......my inital reaction?...."i really want to order a pizza and eat the whole thing."

Thankfully, that morning, I had cooked a container full of chicken breasts and a container full of green beans. I had them ready to go.....so I passed the urge for the pizza and ate the healthy stuff. It went a long way in showing me how much preparation plays into making healthy choices.

I didn't want to work out today, but Rose made me. It's day like today where I want to hate her, but I can't. I love her. She has my best interest at heart...and she pushes me on days like today when I just want to quit.

So....all of that to say...given my week....if I can do this....you can do this. Let's keep putting one foot in front of the other....together.

Love, Morgan

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

as an emotional eater myself i feel your pain. its a very very hard thing to break. alot of the time you do it without realizing it. i have been a binge eater for years. i have hidden food away from my signifigant other and when he was mean or made me feel bad i would get up at night and eat. i found myself doing that again this week and you were my inseration to put it all down, the garbage disposal actually, and not do it. im hoping that maybe if you can do this so can i. you have inspired me to have a better life for me, not becuase i need to lose weight becuase its what makes someone not love me. thank you morgan. you are an amazing woman.keep up all the good work and keep inspiring us!

Anonymous said...

you're such an inspiration morgan. thanks so much.

Kat said...

Morgan-

What a difficult time for you! That you are able to step back and objectively look at your behavior and how it is affecting your weight loss says a lot though. It says that you are motivated and determined! Don't let this derail you... you're doing awesome!

~d said...

I just want to remind you that I love you!
danna

Unknown said...

Morgan I'm sorry to hear the tough decisions happening in your life right now but I know you have your focus in the right place-Up-so you will be led through this. And way to go for facing down the pizza urge! Small steps turn into big ones! Well done. Wish you were closer to get an in person hug-so BIIIGGG HUGGGSSSS to you from Houston.