I went to the Dr. Walker's office (I love them by the way)...and that is where I will go once a week to do my weigh in. I stepped on the scale and she started it at 250...I said..."I promise you it's in the 300's"...she almost seemed hesitant...but the scale told the truth.......
And the final weight was.....(Deep Breath)....338....338....338...338...338....
It took a little time to get comfortable with saying that.
Hello World I am 28 years old and I weigh 338 pounds.
Admitting it is the first step right? (This whole typing thing is therapeutic.)
After Sandy verified it, I said, "Thank You," and hit the door....slightly embarassed. I could feel tears starting to brim my eyes, but then I thought..."No....you can't be upset, because you are now working backwards. This is just the beginning."
So, I left there and went to Piggly Wiggly to pick up my food for the day. I've decided that tonight I'm cleaning out my fridge and pantry...and donating all of the non healthy stuff to a food bank. It is food and useful, but not for me. Part of the key is not to have it easily accessible. I need to re-stock my fridge with fresh and healthy foods. As I pulled up to the front of the grocery store...I had to laugh. Anyone who thinks God doesn't have a sense of humor is crazy. Parked in front of the store there was.. not one, but THREE ice cream trucks (Bluebell, Edy's, Mayfield, and a sara lee truck)...I thought....well...nothing like in your face
temptation..but I walked out with ALL healthy foods.
Someone asked me about a plan...Im working on that. At this point I'm trying to get comfortable with a total change of lifestyle. When I left the church at close to 10pm last night, all I could think of was..."I really want to go to McDonalds and get a Mushroom/Swiss Burger.".....But I went home and ate some tuna fish instead. This is just as much an emotional and spiritual disorder as it is an eating disorder. I am literally having to re-program my thoughts. I will be typing out a plan in the days to come. I recently thought about joining a local weight watchers group here in town...but the more I think about it, I think I'm not going to....for one its $100 up front, which is hard when money is tight.... But more than that, I've always thought.."Well if I just had a trainer, or if I could just join weight watchers...or if I could just go on the biggest loser.......THEN I'd lose weight." I really feel led to try and do this with out the excuses. I have a weight watchers book from a long time ago, so I will be utilizing the points (which ANY of you can do. You can buy the point books on Ebay for next to nothing...maybe not 2010, but old ones)..but the meetings are really about the weigh in's and support, and I feel like I have that.
Also..Thank you, Thank You, Thank You...for the support and encouragement. There are some people who haven't been able to post comments here and have emailed me... I have had at least 25-30 comments/emails since my first post. I am going to print them all out and keep a binder of encouragement for the hard days. Just knowing that so many people are reading is such an accountability to me.
I hope that in time, this blog will reach the computer screens of strangers, who much like me, just needed a little blunt honesty, motivation, and encouragement. If someone else gets the motivation they need to start changing their life by reading my transparency.....then that is the goal....if that is YOU, and you need a personal push...email me and I will gladly give it to you.
I am going to be doing some polls, product reviews on the meals and exercise videos, recipes, etc....for that reason...if you are unable to post on this blog, but want to contribute or contact me regarding anything you see on here, I've set up an email address : pleasinglyplumpdiaries@gmail.com
Well..I hear the microwave dinging....I've gotten lots of recommendations on the Lean Cuisine, broccoli, cheddar potatoes.....Can't wait to try them.
Love to all of you out there.
Morgan
6 comments:
You are an inspiration. I am also trying to lose weight this year. I look forward to following your progress. You are amazing! I am so proud of you. If anyone can make this happen it is you.
Love,
Helen Link Schenck
Good for you for being so brave and for knowing that the future starts NOW. I know what you mean by thinking "I could do it if..."
As far as Weight Watchers goes, it works because of the accountabilty (which you've already established HERE) and because of the foods you eat. The Core plan is amazing!! Now called Simply Filling, I guess. The foods are closer-to-all-natural, "God Foods" and you can find LOTS of recipes and food suggestions online.
healthdiscovery.net has a lot of recipes that I think you'll find to be mighty tasty. Many of them are like the Lean Cuisine meals, only without the preservatives (or, honestly, the zap-and-eat convenience). There are also recipes on the blog I mentioned yesterday. Enjoy! and Good luck!!
YOU CAN DO IT!!
Saw this clip yesterday morning on Good Morning America and thought it might be helpful for your grocery shopping: http://abcnews.go.com/video/playerIndex?id=9472278
I definitely understand how hard it is to eat healthy when you work such long hours, especially late into the evening. Pretty sure Taco Bell has become Jeff's late night staple :-) You should also try Kashi frozen meals. They are good at using lots of whole grains and veggies and then protein to keep you full. I'll be for rooting you.
First off, WOW! Ms. Courage, for posting your starting weight for all to see. It's like Biggest Loser, but it's all about you, you don't have to "play the game" to win a huge pot of money, but just take care of YOURSELF for a change. I am SO PROUD of you for taking this leap. It's going to be a rocky road with temptations and times when you want to throw in the towel, but like always, I'm a phone call away, call me anytime...seriously! You're young, beautiful, talented, giving, funny, loving and now inspiring!! You deserve the world and all the happiness. I Love You and Miss You. Shane Carson
Reminds me of one of my favorite verses:
Joshua 1:9 - "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."
This is scary Momo, but always remember God is your strength. You're trusting faith in God continues to inspire me. Love you Morgan!
-matt
You are so awesome! To be so upfront and reaaallly honest...you are awesome!
I don't know what it's worth but I'll tell you what I did to lose weight. I know I'm not good at changing everything drastically (that's me not necessarily you) so I set out on my "no excuses" regimen. I decided there was no excuse to eat what I didn't need...I didn't change what I ate...I just cut everything in half. Instead of a whole sandwich with a bag of chips I had 1/2 sandwich with a few chips. The other thing I did was make sure I had a little something every few hours to keep the engine burning. I also didn't eat everything I saw (you remember working at the church with cookies and cupcakes and something around all the time). I always packed my snacks and lunch in my cooler bag and took (still take) it everywhere I go so I have no excuse to hit the fast food. I didn't stay away from all foods...I just tried to make sure each day was more balanced than it had been. With each day it was easier. Being fed something every few hours and having my regular food (just not as much each meal) made all the difference. I never felt like I missed anything. Balance is the key...along with being properly nourished but not overly so.
I know you can do it but I also believe doing it with the foods you love keeps you from feeling denied.
My prayers are with you. I wish I was closer to help if I could. Remember you have lots of people praying for you...and don't forget YOU ARE AWESOME!!!!!
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